Beauty Pageant World … Humor in the ER

Miss Sc png“Just when you think the worst is over…” I told my audience at Ashley River Baptist Church concerning my last 24-hours of stress. I tried to make the events sound funny and stress what a great job I did handling issues. Little did I know that the events to come in “pageant world” would make the last 24 hours seem “blah” … proving once again that life is all about your attitude.
I was on my way to celebrate pageant week.  All of us queens from yester-year gussied up for a blast from the past if even for a few seconds of walking and waving on the stage.  Reminds me of this plaque someone gave me that makes me laugh:
“We can’t all be the queen.  Some of you have to sit on the curb and wave as I go by.”
Pageant world is fun.  I was asked to conduct pre-show television interviews with some great women in South Carolina government, discuss the changing “pageant world” styles and share the pageant’s involvement with Children’s Miracle Network.
I was dressed by one of the ‘greats’ in pageant world for my TV appearance, topped off with blown-out hair, false eyelashes, and way too much padding in the top of that dress. It was blissful and I sparkled like the fake rhinestones on my beautiful Gregory Ellenburg gown.
The only problems were my predictable aching feet and unpredictable strange sensation of pain in the base of my hand. The pain got worse as the evening wore on.
I knew I was in trouble when the newly crowned Miss South Carolina took her first walk the pain in my hand was so bad, I could not even clap!
My mind was racing.  I had a ten o’clock flight to Indianapolis for a speaking engagement so this was not good. With throbbing hand and tired feet, I ask the security guard at the auditorium the question I did not want to ask but I had no choice. Dressed in pageant world padded gown, fake eyelashes and blown-out hair, I asked, “Where is the nearest ER? His answer was as real and honest. “There is an ER only blocks from here.  I would not go there since you will look like all the other “escort” women at this hour of the night.”  In other words, when I leave this auditorium, pageant world ends and “call girl” world begins.
I made the decision to drive back to the Edgefield County ER with the locals who know me, what my real job is and receive treatment.  After some snickers and explaining to the doctor on call that I was not “on call,” meds were prescribed and all is well. I apparently I sprained a tendon in my hand.
This is one of those occasions when you have to wear your humor eyes, even when your eyes are decorated with false eyelashes.

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