Bury Me with My Humiliation at the Grocery Store

Oh my goodness, y’all! My time at Cracker Barrel was an absolute hoot! As a professional Southern humorist, I always have my radar up for a good laugh, and let me tell you, Cracker Barrel served up some side-splitting stories along with their delicious food!

All Cracked Up at Cracker Barrel

As I was signing books,  an older gentleman approached me after leaving the Cracker Barrel restaurant. He walked up to my table and in his thick Southern drawl, asked, “Did you write that book?”

“I sure did!”  I said with great enthusiasm.

“You really did write that there book?” he drawled, pointing at my pile of paperbacks.

I grinned and replied, “Yes, would you like an autographed copy?”

But then he surprised me by shaking his head and saying, “Nah, I ain’t interested in no book. I just want a toothpick.”

Now that story was funny but wait, there’s more!

Ta-Tas in the Grocery Store

I strolled into the local IGA, feeling like a literary superstar, when a voice boomed from across the store, “Hey! You Jane Herlong, the author?”

I straightened up and puffed out my chest, “Yes, I am!”

“The one who wrote that book?” she shouted back.

“Absolutely!” I exclaimed, thinking she was referring to my new hit book, “Bury Me With My Pearls.” That book was currently trending as a “Hot New Release” on Amazon. But the year before, I wrote a breast cancer awareness book entitled, “What Ta-Tas Teach Us.” I had written it to raise money and awareness since my sister had had breast cancer.

But then, to my utter horror, she yelled, “The one about titties, right?”

My face turned red as a beet as the entire store turned to gawk at me. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. But then, to make matters worse, the woman continued, “Oh, I love that book! You know where I got it?”

I hesitated, afraid to know the answer.

“I bought it at a yard sale for a quarter. Can you believe it? I figured I got a bargain at just over twelve cents a titty!

That trip to the grocery store turned out to be one of my BREAST stories!

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Sirius XM Humorist, international best-selling and award-winning author, professional singer, recording artist, and professional speaker. Her expertise in the art of public speaking has earned her a coveted spot in the prestigious Speaker Hall of Fame. In addition, Jane has achieved the recognition by the National Speakers Association as a Certified Speaking Professional. With her unique blend of humor, storytelling, and wisdom, Jane is sure to leave a lasting impression on any audience

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