I looked at the address and knew I was traveling to a bad part of town. But still I proceeded. I told the hostess to have the party in a cool room and serve refreshments to the guests. When I arrived, I knew we were in trouble. The “party” was in a room filled with every appliance known to man. It was like being in a sauna. And those refreshments? I thought they were chocolate chip cookies until I noticed that the chips had wings. All I could think of was my Grandmother McElveen repeating the sentence, “Every time a fly lands, it has a baby.”
The makeup-less guest were all seated around the table with their cute, little, pink Mary Kay trays that were filled with the products that would transform mere mortals into movie stars. Suddenly, an older, very “over-served” man walked into the room holding that hand of a small child. The child grinned from ear to ear. Instead of teeth, this child had stalactite icicle-shaped formations in his mouth. I heard myself blurt out, “What happened to his teeth!?” Very calmly the family matriarch replied, “He done sucked the bottle too long. He ain’t got no teeth.”
As they say in Mary Kay world….the show must go on. Soon we were literally up to our eyes with Mary Kay. “Now it is time to apply our eye make-up, “I said with a professional tone. Suddenly there were ooohs and awhs from the other guests as they looked at the family matriarch’s eye shadow. I stared in disbelief. Her eye lids were matted with lipstick. Bless her heart, she got into the wrong spot on her tray that was clearly marked, LIPSTICK. One by one, they all followed their leader. At this point I did not care if they used it for the foundation.
Thinking this cannot be more disastrous is always a mistake. Once again the older man walked back into the room having purchased fresh supplies. He was more over-served than ever. By his side was the toothless child. He had a hand full of chocolate candy; those foil-wrapped little chocolates shaped like footballs. Just like before, he grinned from ear to ear but this time he had decorated his “teeth” with the chocolate footballs. To top it all off, the older man said, “Ya’ll through?” “Yes!” exclaimed the ladies in unison with lipstick on their lids. “Well,” he said pausing, “Ya’ll still ugly.”
And that is when I quit Mary Kay.