Patti Davis, known for her tumultuous relationship with her mother, shared lovely words at Nancy Reagan’s funeral. “I choose to remember my mother framed by the window of a New York hotel room as I told her that I’d been involved in a complicated relationship for two years and had been cruelly tossed aside. I was 19. I felt older and more wounded than any 19 year-old should feel. I needed a mother and I came to mine. Holding out a fragile hope that she would keep me from crumbling beyond recognition. She did. She didn’t judge me. She wasn’t punishing or accusatory. She was tender and understanding and loving.”
These are eloquent words of wisdom. Our children can make life decisions that will cause much pain to themselves and those who love them. Nancy Reagan, in her wisdom, knew about timing. Her child hurt and she knew to hold her daughter and not judge her.
Springtime is a reminder for me. Trying to simulate my grandmother’s yard I attempted to plant a sea of daffodils. As a farmer’s daughter, I should have known better—the tip of the bulb does not go down. As a result, a rogue warm day in December brought forth dwarfed sprigs. The bulbs were producing stems that would wind their way up to break through the warm earth. The blooming process may not be on our timeline.
Do you have a child who is not blooming in season? Children who bloom out of sync will hurt themselves. I can attest to the fact that it is very difficult to watch and wait with hope for the bloom. Many parents talk till they are out of words as we watch the weeds attack our flower. Many times we become the weeds!
So what is a parent to do? Pray. Pray for your child and pray for yourself. Watch that your words are not weeds but filled with wisdom when speaking to your child.
So the next time you see a daffodil blooming out of season, remember the words of Patti Davis. Also, say a prayer of love, don’t speak words of judgement. Let that flower be a reminder that somewhere out there is a loved human being in the process of human becoming. They are searching. Pray for them on their journey we call life.
Pass this post on to someone who is dealing with a difficult child.