Silence is Golden When the Colon is Beholden

Silence is Golden When the Colon is Beholden

Well, it’s something that we all should do….take our own advice. I wrote this really cute song (see video below) and after sharing with many audiences, I had to follow my own lyrics. I experienced my first colonoscopy and to say the least, it was an adventure.

I was tagged with the paper wristband indicating that my turn was coming. As I sat in the waiting room, I kept telling myself that if this was so bad there would not be fellow colonospians waiting to have the procedure. This self-talk was similar to the speech I gave myself before I had my first child.

Suddenly, the door leading back to the work area flung open. This very Southern woman entered with a Wal-Mart accent. “Where’s Loretta? Loretta, you here? She hain’t left, has she?”

Those of us wearing the wristband were staring in disbelief. Like it was our job to keep up with the movements of Loretta.

“She done left four other times,” said the office worker.

One brave soul said, “Didn’t see anyone leave. How come she left before?”

“’Cause her uncle passed right there on the table.”

More confused looks from the colonoscopy vets. (If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy you know “passing” is one of the things you do afterwards).

“Passed?” said the brave one.

“Up and died, right there on the table. Anyway, you see Loretta, tell her she’s next.”

Ya know, there are just certain conversations you can’t un-hear but I had my procedure and proud that I did. Pass it on…(no play on words).

March is National Colon Cancer Awareness Month. Protect your pipes – have it inspected by a certified plumber. A colonoscopy is the fastest five pounds you’ll ever lose.

For more laughter and advice (if that’s what you want to call it), click HERE.


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