The Season We all Dread……

The season is upon us once again…. not necessarily Halloween or pre-Thanksgiving or Christmas. This is the time we all dread….elections.

I have a Halloween mug that has an interesting quote written on it. Hal-low-een, n: 1. One of two late autumn evenings on which people who have had their doorbells constantly rung by weird-looking creatures settle down to watch something scary on T.V. The other is Election Night.

This election has expanded my vocabulary. I had heard of the investment companies, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I know the initials represent an acronym of government words. Still, I thought, “What human being would trust putting money into a company called Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac?” It just sounds stupid.

Who knows? Maybe two good-ol boys went fishin’ and one says to the other, “Hey. You want to make up some money cump-nies?” “Uh-huh,” replies the friend. “I think I’ll call it my grandma’s names…..Fannie and Mae.” “That sounds real good,” says the other good-ol-boy. “I’ll name my cump-ney after my grandpas, Freddie and Mac.” “Wow!” We is so smart!!!”

I had an Aunt Fannie. For the life of me, I could not call her Aunt Fannie. I felt like I was insulting her….it was like calling her Aunt Behind. Family names like that are just plain weird. AND we all have an aunt, uncle, cousin or grandparent with one of those names.

When Holmes was a little boy, my mother would slap the table and sing…”peas porridge hot….peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old…” When Holmes wanted my mother to sing the song again, he would slap the table and yell, ”PEA!” Momma would sing the song again. Well, the next time Holmes saw my mother he yelled, “PEA!” Yes, this became her name for only a season.

I will never forget the Sunday Holmes was in the Harmony UMC nursery. I had his little diaper bag full of diapers, etc. After the service was over I went to the nursery and picked up his diaper bag. What a surprise. The diaper bag was much lighter. One of the nursery folks said, “Holmes is so smart!” “Why, thank you!” I blushed. The nursery volunteer continued, “I cannot believe he is already potty-trained.” “Potty-trained?” I asked. “Yes,” she continued. “He kept yelling PEA so I kept changing his diapers.”

Back to the election. I think we can all agree on one issue. I’m glad it will be over soon.

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