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What Happens When Momma Won’t Pass

This story was told to me by my friend who is a funeral home director.  

“Several years ago a local family contacted me when I was working  at the funeral home,” said my friend. “Honey, I ain’t makin’ none of this up.”

This family had a tradition—going on an annual cruise.  With the deposit paid and all the details finalized, the one thing they did not plan was Momma getting’ sick…bad sick.

The children surrounded her hospital bed to say their goodbyes.  Then the cruise topic came up.  Right there in front of God and Momma, the family concluded that momma would want them to go on their trip while the Lord was calling her home. 

The funeral home was called and in the presence of Momma, they gathered her burial clothes, jewelry, and teeth. The mortuary was instructed that when she passed,  just to “ice her down” till they got back.

“Them churin’ soon discovered that  jist ‘cause Momma ain’t talkin,’ don’t mean she ain’t listenin’,” my friend said.

Well, a funny thing happened during the cruise; Momma did not pass.  In fact, she got better; she heard every word of what was said.

When the cruise crowd called, my friend shared the news. “Well, your momma was not called home.  In fact, she called me. “I know you got my teeth,” she said.  I’m hungry so how ‘bout bringing them to me.   I am mad, too. I heard everything they said. My churin’ asked you to “ice me down….jist like a fish.””

I told them children, “Your Momma got mad and got well; just replace “A” in PASS with the letter “I.” Yep, that’s what happened.”

When the children came to get the rest of their momma’s stuff from the funeral home, one of them told me that their momma may have needed them teeth for chewin’ food but not for chewin’ them  out.

Share this with someone who needs a good laugh….with quite a bite.

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Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Sirius XM Humorist, international best-selling/award-winning author, professional singer, recording artist, award-winning professional speaker and member of the Speaker Hall of Fame.

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