When Ovaries Go South

Some of you will get this right way because you totally understand. Yet, there are some Southern sistahs who need a little more ‘splaning…so here ya go; there comes a time when we must WO-man up so, grow a pair… Down South. There, I finally said it!

Checkout the accomplishments of our biblical super-hero sistahs or WWW’s….Wonder Women of Wisdom: Esther, Ruth, Naomi and Hannah, just to name a few. I wrote about these amazing women in my fourth book, “Rhinestones On My Flip-Flops.”   What a tough and godly group of women!  

I woke up and remembered….

It was a struggle since Thomas, my moral compass, suggested that I delete this uncouth story. But late one night God, my mother or grandmother (maybe all three) woke me up from the dead…of sleep. Then, I remembered.

Back in college, I picked enough tomatoes one summer to feed a small country.  Daddy was delighted since my living expenses for the year were covered by my hard work.

When registration for the Summer Classes began, I need a Music/Arts Class and Daddy, to my surprise agreed for me to travel and study in Europe for the summer.  My only hesitation was fearing that the elderly members in the family would pass away while I was on the trip.  My mother promised that if anything terrible happened, she would let me know.


The trip was winding down; the last stop was London.  In only a week, my parents would meet me at the Charleston Airport. I phoned home one last time to remind them of details of my arrival. The conversation when something like this:

“Hey, Momma!  Everything good at home?”

“Yes, things are okay.”

Hummm, “okay” is code….

“Okay? Is anyone dead?” (You know time is money when calling internationally; get to the point.)

“We’ll see you in a few days. I got arrested yesterday. Bye.”

“WHAT?!”  In a nutshell, Momma and Grandmother McElveen were on the way to the doctor and my mother, Eleanor ran a yellow light.  Police sirens were heard, Eleanor was pulled and the words flew; she mouthed off to the policeman.  To be honest, Eleanor was upset since Eudora (grandmother McElveen) was having health problems and Eleanor was rushing her to the doctor.

Daddy always said that a bottle of Tabasco would not affect her tongue since it was already on fire. Basically, that cop got a tongue-lashing and that hot tongue got Eleanor parked in the backseat of a police car. All I can say is God help the man, policeman, person or whomever who messes with those two. The rest of the story is that Eleanor was released… without bail. But her tongue was never tamed.

The Bottom Line When Ovaries Go South…

If you keep calling your girlfriend over and over to recount the same, sad woe-is-me story, you need you to grow a pair.

If no one calls you when you’re in a tough spot, odds are they’re sick of your whining. Haven’t heard from your friends in a while? They’re having lunch and shopping without Debbie Downer because you ruined the last fun girlfriend trip. Learn to handle your emotions, or your emotions will handle you. I think Jesus said that… if he didn’t, he should have. 

How about you? What pair do you need to grow today? Become the strong, confident WO-man God intended you to become. Do that and you’ll find you have more power an prestige and peace that you’ll ever need.

A Good Sip of Strong Tea….

Here is a good sip of strong sweet tea: the secret to success is to be all God wants you to be. Don’t compromise and toughen-up in a lady-like fashion.  And do not live life like an used tea bag!

About Jane!

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Sirius XM Humorist, international best-selling/award-winning author, professional singer, recording artist and award-winning professional speaker.

Jane is a member of the Speaker Hall of Fame and one of the 232 men and women to be awarded this honor including former U.S. President Ronald Reagan and the late General Colin L. Powell. Jane has also achieved the distinction of becoming a Certified Speaking Professional by the National Speakers Association.

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