My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

I am watching Hurricane Irma and could not resist sharing this story about my funny and WOW mother (Woman of Wisdom).
My new book, “Rhinetones on my Flip-Flops” to be released on 9/26 is loaded with some of my favorite Southern tales so here is a memory to make you chuckle. Only in the South…

My WOW Woman Momma and Hurricane Irma

Momma was in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from heart surgery. We were only allowed to visit every two hours; I was always anxious to see her every morning. Momma’s doctor, Dr. Schweiger was making his rounds. My sister and I talked him into delivering a container of green peas and whipped potatoes—Momma’s favorite. Bless his heart, he was not thrilled walking into ICU carrying momma’s “breakfast.”
We had already made history at Roper Hospital. Momma missed her hair appointment—the first time in 48 years. You see it was Wednesday.
Undercover WOW Woman So her hairdresser was allowed to fluff Momma’s hair in ICU but with limited use of hairspray. This was another milestone since Momma’s hair had not moved since 1962–the year AquaNet was invented. As a Southern woman of style and grace, Momma’s hair day was as respected as when Clemson won the 81’National Football Championship.
Since momma was having hallucinations, I have to admit visiting was like being in Kindergarten and listening to story-time. The day before she used her plastic suction tube as a prop as she pointed to various people calling them out. “You see that nurse over there? She had “relations” with that doctor last night. Then they left in a helicopter.”
As the days turned into weeks, my sister and I tried to figure out how to get her out of ICU. It had to be something powerful and motivating. Being reared on the coast, we knew the answer—tell her a Cat 4 Hurricane was in the Atlantic. Momma hated hurricanes.
I remember the drill: fill the bathtubs, buy a year’s worth of batteries, candles and matches. Remember to throw the cat outside since they attract lightning. Trust every word from Channel 5’s Charlie Hall as he makes predictions using a piece of chalk and a Plexiglass screen. Put on your tennis shoes and don’t talk. Just so dumb and way overboard…
Well, now Irma is upon us. I bought a generator yesterday and already stocked up on water. Batteries today and, by the way, where is my cat? Oh, gotta remember my hair appointment. So glad I am not like my mother.
Be sure to share this fun memory and message with those who love a good Southern story and fear they are just like their mothers.

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